By Victor Kwame Sampong
After what seemed like we’d turned the corner by posting some impressive results at the ongoing Lepusne Bundle League, held at the Autograph Mall in GRA, we got another rude awakening to remind us that we still have work to do.
Back-to-back games saw Ghanaman & Friends score 4 times in the first half, thereby becoming the first team ever to achieve such an impressive feat in the tournament’s history; with my boy Azubuike bagging a first-half Hattrick in the 2nd game and a brace in the previous one.
Brimming with confidence, we got into the subsequent games hoping to continue our impressive form, but two late goals in the dying stages of the matches consigned us to consecutive defeats (2-1 and 0-1 losses).
I was even more furious in the second game that was held this past weekend, as we were dominating proceedings, (we had a numerical advantage because our opponents had a man sent off) until my back man, Pinky, decided to cap what was an impressive performance with a howler late on.
What should have been a routine save from a very feeble straight shot at him, slipped through his legs. In this game, we struck the frame of the goalpost 3 times and had a 1 v 1 situation twice. Wastefulness in front of the goal has been our undoing in this 5-aside tournament thus far.
Wetin even vex me pass na when we were making our long walk of shame back home and Pinky still had the guts to demand for my soup wey dey house. For match wey him make us lose Oo, this boy don go charter Fufu of N1,000, on top my Banga Soup wey nearly wreck my pocket? Even my vulcanizer Wale cannot boast of such an amount of Fufu in his shop. Pinky had to be stopped. I told him if he nears my house for any reason, na police station we go settle our matter.
I thought that was the last of it. As I dey come out from the bathroom, I saw someone trying to unlock my outer metal protector door. Pinky doesn’t give up. The boy no dey hear word. I rushed out naked with one thought in mind….to lock the door and swallow the key, instead of letting that slim, lanky akuta into my house or anywhere near my kitchen. I don’t mind displaying the full glory of my manhood while doing that. As if he had read my mind, he beat me to the key, which was still inside the padlock, and made his way in with an apology. I couldn’t tell if he was truly remorseful for letting the team down or he was just doing it to save his stomach.
But unlike before wey him been dey try challenge me for car as I was trying to correct his error, this time, he came seeking forgiveness.
No wam, I let him have his way. Besides that layman mistake, the boy has been nothing short of loyal and dependable!
I’m a good man, so I’ll let this one slide.
Ashawo no get shame
My body was still feeling the pain from the day’s activities. We trained on Saturday morning and played a difficult match later in the afternoon. So when I woke up in the evening after a long sleep, I decided to hit the road.
My 4th ride that night was quite interesting.
My rider Onome was a tall, busty babe, with big Nyansh too. She was huge, and so fine as well. I picked her up from Oginigba Axis with her destination set for Oroazi. That place na headquarters. If you know, you know. But if you don’t, no be me go tell you.
From the moment she stepped into the car, the calls were flowing in and out. She was very pissed each time. From what I got from the numerous calls, her friends and business partners had shortchanged her and she was baying for blood.
So, the gist was, that two of her friends ‘Set Pass’ for her and told her it was Fifty Thousand Naira (N50,000). As a result, they got a cut of Ten Thousand Naira (N10,000). When she got to the client’s house, after all was said and done, the man must have let his tongue slip up a bit and revealed the full financial transactions involved….N70,000.
But she said she held her cool until she left his place. Now she’s telling the girls to refund her the balance of N20,000 but they’re calling her bluff.
She was telling another friend that e be like sey the client know why him pay the 70k true true, because the sort of weapon he possessed, was what led America to invade Iraq years ago. That thing they went to look for in Bagdad, was actually hidden right here in Port Harcourt, Oginigba precisely. Who would have thought (na me paraphrase am like this due to the gravity of the WMD).?
She said her legs and honeypot were sore because the man had no intention of letting the brotherhood down. He held his own and delivered on the money. As a result, that extra 20k that they connived and cornered go come out.
Me wey bad thing dey sweet? Hehehehehe! I know when to stick around a little while. I know when it’s about to go down.
Long before we got to the house, she don wire me my own. So, as the car stopped, she ran out in rage. One of the girls, who was half her size was already outside. Na slap she take notify her of her intention to collect her money. No time. I like it when people keep to their words.
The other one wey don hear the ringtone from inside wey suppose take cover, but instead rushed in like a tag team partner in WWE. Na so my girl Onome take am on too. Two seconds, everywhere don burst. Ashawo no get shame true true.
Neighbours and passersby came out to separate what was an interesting show of shame. I had seen enough already.
It was time to hit the road again.
