By Victor Kwame Sampong
My day started on a very good note.
My car was very dirty and I didn’t have the strength to wash it myself, so, I set out for Mandela Car Wash very early in the morning. On getting to Eligbam, I saw the world’s famous Port Harcourt First Son, Duncan Mighty. I slowed down and he reached out for a handshake.
This was one legend to another (it’s an open secret now that, the streets refer to me as The Ace Defender & One True Legend Of The Grassroots), and we both decided a selfie would be ideal. I had no choice but to oblige.
Well, years ago, he walked in on us inside the Airtel Service Shop at Onne Road in GRA and in his usual manner, offered to clear the bills for everyone inside the complex at the time. The door was locked and everyone’s complaint had been taken down, irrespective of what it was, Wene Mighty paid for everyone. He had such a good heart.
I reminded him of that incident and we laughed over it as we took more pictures from his crew. He even requested for his dark shades, because a picture with a Grassroots Football Legend like me is rare. He needed to appear in all his glory.
Men and sex
Work that night was going well. Filtering rides and embarking on trips yielding more financial benefits have been the goal of this period. Fresh from dropping some money-pickers at Hobnob in Iwofe, I got another order indicating the rider was at Aker Road and headed for Golf Estate with the trip showing a sum of N6,800. I accepted anyway, called the rider and he said I should pick up his babe from somewhere around there. From how he was sounding, I knew he wasn’t familiar with the place. So I asked for the girl’s number. After speaking with her and getting her location, I called the guy back. I explained to him that the girl was about 10 minutes from my location (I exaggerated), but na less. I can still pick her up and bring her to him, but him go add N2,500 to the displayed sum. I used the distance and time (it was almost midnight) as bargaining chips to swing it in my favour. He agreed.
So, I headed for her location. As I dey enter her street, she called me and asked why I bill the guy N9,500; so she no dey go again. I called him back and he said that’s what she told him. She even offered to go in the morning instead. My head wan burst. Which kind bad belle banny be this sef ? He offered to send me N1,500 as compensation but I tell am make him no worry. I just off motor, came down and took a piss at a nearby gutter.
By the time I returned to my car, he called back again and asked if I’d left the vicinity. I told him I was in fact, right in front of her gate…. hehehehe! Oga said make I no vex, say the girl is coming out, and that I shouldn’t even talk to her…make I just bring her to him.
Within 2-3 minutes, she was out, a few poles from me, I just pulled up and she hopped in. We never even go far sef, I received an alert of Ten Thousand Naira (N10,000) from the guy, because I had earlier sent my account details after he re-engaged me again. My joy knew no bounds.
So, I asked the girl light-heartedly, why she been wan block my blessings that night? She said another driver her sister had booked agreed to take Six Thousand Naira for the same trip. Na there I know say truly, na man dey do man for this world.
It’s not the sex that bothers me
But then again, it took my mind to a popular saying from my boss, China Acheru: It’s not the sex that bothers me, but the energy men expend to get the sex. It is not a China Acheru quote, but he says it a lot. It was said by former Super Eagles coach, Clemens Westerhof in 1994, just before the World Cup in USA. He was asked if he would let his players have sex during the World Cup and his response was, “It’s not the sex that bothers me, but the energy these players expend to get the sex.”
Now, this brings me to my next story which happened a day earlier.
I was at UST Roundabout at about midnight, waiting for a good ride to take me out of there. One came from Illoabuchi. I called and she said she was heading to Elimgbu, with the price showing N7,500. In my usual manner, I explained to her that an extra N2,000 would be ideal, considering the distance and time. She asked to be given two minutes to tell the guy. After what seemed like 5 minutes, she called back and asked me to start coming. I told her I was already outside her building. I knew it would fly.
Luckily, she too was ready and didn’t waste any more time.
We got there and the guy came in with his friend who also had a babe with him. But there was no more room at the hotel. So he suggested we go to Meritz Hotel along Stadium Road for an extra N7,000. Wetin again we dey wait for na? We got there, he went in to confirm and came back outside to wire me Twenty Thousand Naira (N20,000). And that’s how I ended my night, with a promise to come in the morning to pick up the smallie wey him carry.
But hey, 20k already spent on fare just cos of knacks? This is wild.
But what’s even wilder was my encounter with his girlfriend whom I picked up in the morning. I’ll tell you all about it in the next episode.
Stay tuned!!!
