By Victor Kwame Sampong
Saturdays are usually designed for us to cash out. Weekends in general are not to be toyed with.
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are the three most important days of the week, so imagine my surprise when the expected surge patches weren’t up to the usual standards by Saturday evening. It wasn’t very encouraging.
I dragged my feet and hesitated several times before deciding just to ride it out.
It wasn’t until my third ride of the night that I got something worthy of an episode.
I picked Crystal up from Charlie’s Total Fitness Center along Stadium Road. I met her outside with a man waiting for me.
She excused herself to go get her bag and personal effects inside and that took another seven minutes before she boarded the vehicle. She duly apologized as we started the trip.
She was a mature woman, the type Oyibo people dey refer to as MILF (Mother I’d Like to F**k). She was pretty, sexy and busty (Manchester United fans should be proud). I didn’t waste time to complement her beauty and fragrance.
I moved to her voice and told her I loved the way she laughed. Plus there’s this sensual feeling it exudes. Yeah, I was flirty. And it worked too. Because she felt more at ease and comfortable and soon, we were talking about all manner of things.
We got to her destination somewhere along the Eneka Road and I had to call out my details. I told her it was VFD Microfinance Bank, but like most clients, she didn’t hear it well or had never heard of it. So, I moved on with the initials: V for Vagina, F for F**k ….na she take her mouth to complete the last one, D for D*ck….Gbamsolutely. I proceeded with the digits, the transaction was confirmed and just as I was about to leave, she told me she liked me and would like us to keep talking on the phone.
I told her she had my number. If and when she’s ready, she should do the needful. I turned and zoomed off.
Golden Oldies WhatsApp group
Crystal’s call woke me up the next morning. After exchanging pleasantries, we proceeded to WhatsApp. We chatted for about 30 minutes or so, before we both left to go about the day’s activities. She asked that I join a WhatsApp Group she ran with her friends where I’ll get to meet mature ladies like her. She sold all the sweet stuff about the group and out of curiosity, I gave her the go-ahead to add me up.
After a brief introduction, I started answering a few questions from the members and joining in their conversations. By evening, momentum changed as rain begin fall Oo. The kind of things I take my eyes see inside that group, even Porn Hub no reach Oo. Every form of nudity, X-rated contents from the members, and uncensored materials.
None of the women there was below 30 years old, and this is based on my observations from the interactions I had with them and from the photos and videos they shared too. The majority were either divorced with kids or were single mothers entirely. My Crystal, while trying to set up a ‘knack session’ with me (I no reason am sha), had told me she was a widow…LOL! It was later I got to find out she was divorced (5 years now) and gained legal custody of the three kids.
About 80 per cent are based in Port Harcourt, while the rest are in locations such as Owerri, Calabar, Uyo, Warri, Lagos and Abuja.
By my 4th abi 5th day on the platform, I was informed by one of the admins that I was chosen to be on the HOT SEAT that evening for some question and answer sessions.
The questions came in different forms, but the majority was about f*ck! F*ck!! And F*ck!!! Well, trust me not to carry last na. I garnished and spiced everything up and I could sense that the ladies were more than happy with the session.
E no tey, I got about 5 DMs from some of them, trying to start a conversation away from the group. Crystal had already told me that they would come. I feigned ignorance at the time and asked her if I should be expecting anyone. She assured me that she knows her girls better than I do. So make I chill. But there was a caveat. She warned that she should be the first person to taste the ‘Gbola’ before the other women.
My new chat mates were up to 7 by now. I was getting a wide range of offers. I also received videos of their private parts. Sodom and Gomorrah no do pass this one.
They were wise enough to mask their faces though. One, Sugar Baby, even offered me a threesome with one of her friends. She proceeded to drop location for the match, but yours truly is a self-disciplined man who just wanted to cruise and vibe without truly diving in on the action.
So, as a smart footballer, I feigned injury and called for a postponement of the match.
At the time of writing this episode, plans are already in motion for a national House Party.
We have two members based outside the country and both have made substantial financial contributions towards that. There are about 8 men and 35 women in the group. Things wey go sup for that House Party ehn…. it’s better imagined than experienced.
But not to worry guys, I will surely update una when it goes down. I will be going there as an independent observer. Abi una no trust me again 
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