Beer Parlour Talk: Arsenal will win the EPL, Man United is a joke and Haaland is the truth


By China Acheru
The 2022/ 23 version of the EPL kicked off last weekend and Arsenal FC were off to a good start beating Crystal Palace 2-0 on Friday.
It was a sparkling display by Arsenal, playing some sweet sexy football and they despatched Palace easily. And therein laid the problem. Arsenal fans went on a social media frenzy claiming it to be their year of victory.
Some Arsenal fans are of the opinion that they would win the league this season, while others are more conservative saying a top 4 finish is certain for them.
You can’t blame fans for being optimistic, but Arsenal fans should have known that for the past fifteen years of their lives, they start the season in high hopes only to have it fade away around March/ April. I would be cautious if I was them. These are perilous times.
The joke called Manchester United
From Sir Alex, to David Moyes, Ryan Giggs to Louis Van Gaal to Jose Mourinho, to Ole Gunnar Solksjaer to Michael Carrick to Ralf Ragnick and then Ten Hag. It has been a case of musical chairs at one of the most successful clubs in Europe, but the only thing that has changed at the club has been the coaching. The performances and results have remained the same.
On Sunday against Brighton and Hove Albion, it was same ol same ol. Harry Maguire was like his usual refrigerator self, while Lisandro Martinez seemed out of sorts in a back 4, rather than a back 3 he excelled in while at Ajax Amsterdam. Most of all the coach looked a sorry sight as Hag ball transformed to Rag ball, but it is early days yet.
Haaland will score for fun
After the Community Shield loss to Liverpool, a lot of people talked on Social Media about the flop Haaland was expected to be. He was so pocketed by Virgil Van Dirk and it was said that the EPL would be a rude shock to him.
However, his two goals against West Ham United were just a tip off the iceberg. There will be many more like those. In fact, I expect Haaland to get between 30- 45 goals in all competitions this season, if injuries permit.
He is quick, he has good positioning and most of all, he is lethal. He will teach the other EPL strikers how to score goals this season. Underrate him at your peril.
Liverpool FC in trouble?
Liverpool drew her opening weekend game 2-2 against Fulham and the swords were drawn against them, a lot referring to the sale of a particular player.
Sadio Mane should not have been sold, the team is missing his services, that sale was a mistake.
But this Liverpool team beat Manchester City 3-1 in the season opener (The Community Shield) a week earlier. How come the Mane sale was not a disaster then? Most of all, Mane was not a defender, but a striker, and the team certainly do not have a goal scoring problem. Its last two games have seen them score 5 goals and concede 3. Besides, the player that came in as Mane’s replacement scored 2 and assisted 2, so it surely cannot be about Mane. Early days yet again.
Honourable mention for Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur and Lionel Messi
In spite of what the media portrays to be a crisis within the ranks, Chelsea won on the road, 1-0 at Everton, which was not a bad start. Tottenham Hotspur also showed some intent, though going a goal down early, shook off their lethargy, scoring four goals to win.
But most of all was Lionel Messi who continued from where he stopped last season. He scored twice and provided an assist for Neymar to ensure that PSG won 5-0 at Clermont.
It is still early days yet, but be rest assured that the banter will be real this season.
This page returns next week.

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