By Victor Kwame Sampong
For the first time in a long time, I’ve not had any major or even minor mechanical issues to deal with regarding my car.
My guy, Ford, did a good number on my car last time and it seems the days of constantly going off are behind me. Ford, wherever you are, you deserve two bottles of non-alcoholic beer.
The days have been fairly good, business wise, but billings choke like Rumuosi Junction traffic. Anywhere man turn to, there’s an issue that requires financial sorting. But how man go do na? We go still run am as usual!
On Sunday, after the Chelsea vs Manchester City game, I went to my usual joint for some much-needed 404 & palmy, so I can be in good shape to start my night shift. My plug didn’t disappoint as usual.
The rides that came my way were pretty good too. And that’s how I met Mr. Henry. He should have been in his mid-fifties by my estimation. I hesitated before picking his order because it needed me to take a much longer route due to the ongoing Ring Road construction at Eneka Roundabout.
When he got in, he was all nice and respectful. We joked and started off on a lighter note, due to our earlier conversation on the phone while establishing contact when I got his order.
We were barely three minutes into our trip when he got a call from a friend and that conversation forms the bedrock of today’s episode.
Mr Henry reminded his friend about his lover who went to Turkey for a medical procedure. Let’s call her Jane Doe. From his description of the lady to his friend, she too was quite mature, probably big, with massive boobs. They didn’t specify the nature of her medical condition in the conversation, but it required the entire removal of one of her breasts. Quite sad.
Now, the crux of the matter is that, after months away, she’s set to return to Nigeria and Mr. Henry implied that he’ll be picking her up from the airport in the coming days.
However, from their previous interactions via video calls, the woman is very horny and wants nothing short of premium sexual satisfaction, having be denied of it for several months. Mr. Henry now dey ask him friend (who seems to be more experienced because he has handled a wide range of women during their time together as friends – as I deduced from their talks too), how to handle a woman with only one massive boob.
Let me quote him verbatim: Oboy, you don f**k woman wey get one breast before?
The above was how they started the conversation about the woman after their exchange of pleasantries.
I nearly match brake burst laugh…lol!
Mr Henry sounded genuinely concerned. His friend then asked even a funnier question. If Jane Doe dey put a dummy boobs in her bra during their video calls or she just leaves the place bare showing only a single massive boob? My Henry couldn’t help but laugh again.
After their call ended, he turned to me to get my own opinion about his predicament. He posed the question to me too. If I’ve had the rare opportunity of having sex with a One-boobed person? This was like the funniest conversation I’ve had in my car for years. Whichever angle the conversation went, we ended up laughing uncontrollably.
In the end, I encouraged him to try it for the rest of the brotherhood and mankind. So that tomorrow, we too shall learn from his experience and get the manual from him on how to handle a woman with one breast. Another round of laughter erupted again.
As we got to his destination, I offered to run the airport pickup, so me too can have first hand knowledge about a One-boobed person. But he said he’ll do so himself. He was generous with his tips too as we said our goodbyes with some more laughter again. Thinking about the conversation with his friend and me, I couldn’t help but laugh again as I made my way out of his estate.
So, to the readers? Anyone with sexual experience about a One-boobed person? Personal or from a third party? I’d like to hear it via the comment section.
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