Random musings- Should there really a battle of the sexes?


Lisetta Woluchem
The love and concern we show to others is a service one can’t buy.
When I say battle of the sexes, I’m not making reference to physical combat between the male and female folk.
I’m only referring to all this chaos found in our relationships.
Chaos would have been a much better word, but come on, the craze is beyond just chaos…it is a battle!
A guy, or a girl wakes up one morning feeling empty, and something tells them the only way that void can be filled is if they find someone to call their own.
Excellent! But before you venture down that road, we all make the mistake of asking ourselves a very important question; “Am I ready? Can I handle a relationship? Do I have what it takes? Can I handle the behavioral difference that’s bound to be between us? Is my psyche strong enough? Am I matured enough?”
Mind you, maturity is in the mind and not in a number.
Going into an adventure is very interesting indeed, but it can turn out to be our doom if we go unprepared, and that’s one mistake youths keep making. Everybody wants to have someone to call their own, but nobody is willing to make the necessary sacrifices to achieve that feat.
A relationship is more or less a contract between two people. Nobody signs a contract without considering the pros and cons.
Jumping into a relationship without asking yourself some fundamental questions, is quite funny because you’ll jump out the same way you jumped in.
A whole lot of things can turn a relationship from sweet to sour in just the blink of an eye. Most times, we fool ourselves believing there’s nothing we can’t handle.
But we also fail to understand that there are some things that are just beyond human comprehension. Most times, it takes more than just the everyday zeal to surpass these traits.
A number one relationship killer is our ego. Three letter words that have proven to be very powerful indeed.
Humans place way too much value on their ego sometimes I wonder if it’s really necessary.
As couples in a relationship, there’re bound to be issues. It’s inevitable. What makes yours different from the next man is how well you handle these issues without raising unnecessary dust.
More often than not, we end up making a mountain out of a mole hill. Nobody is above mistakes, you know?
You know what’s funny? Couples claim to love each other so much, but no one is willing to put their ego aside and do what’s right.
You mustn’t be the offended before you apologise.
Sometime ago, a friend buzzed me up on BBM. She had a lot of things to say about what her boyfriend did and didn’t do; ‘Lisa, imagine, since yesterday, Michael has not called me? What is he up to? Why hasn’t he called? What does he want me to think? How does he want me to feel? I won’t also call him of that’s how he wants us to be’
Phew. What did she want me to do? Support her? Or make an excuse for her boyfriend? Or provide a listening ear? Of course I opted to just listening (after all, I wasn’t there when she decided to date him, and I don’t like getting involved in lover’s squabble).
But within me I was trying to remember when the bill that said calling in a relationship was the duty of one person alone was signed? I couldn’t come up with an answer because such a thing just doesn’t exist.
I mean, one person is not in a relationship alone. If your spouse doesn’t call you, what stops you from calling? A table doesn’t stand on one leg alone, and the same thing is applicable in our lives. To create a balance, both parties have to be willing to make sacrifices every now and again.
It baffles me how people go into a relationship without actually knowing what they’re signing up for.
The mistake most of us always end up making is expecting the next person to behave just like us. It’s completely impossible. If the next person thinks like you, has the exact same vision, lives life in the same manner, how then do you know how well to coexist? What would be the fun in living?
It’s somewhat annoying knowing that some people out there, men and women alike are extremely selfish. Some people can’t treat others the same way they want to be treated forgetting that they’re humans too.
We have got to step up our game. Find that special someone and never fail to make the next person jealous of them.
If we can tell ourselves the truth, we’ll find that this battle isn’t worth it, don’t you agree? I understand that hard as we try to be lovable, some people aren’t worth the stress. But then again, nobody is perfect and that’s one fact we always fail to remember.
I had a friend. One day he came to my place looking like someone that had just taken a trip to hell and back. And he told me that he just walked in on his girlfriend having sex with his best friend!
Bummer! What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to comfort this guy? What would I say that would make sense or sound right? There was no excuse whatsoever to justify what he just saw. There was no therapy that could erase the memory. Frankly, I’ll give that guy a medal if he doesn’t treat the next girl he dates as a piece of dirt. But that’s why we have will power.
The ability to be able to look past the hurt and heart break is what makes us stand out. The ability to be able to always remember that just because one human was vile doesn’t mean the next human doesn’t have an atom of good somewhere in them.
I’m tired of this battle, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
We often spend our time looking for Mr. Right or Miss Right. Find Mr. Left and drag him to the right. No human being is perfect no matter how hard we try. All we need do is learn how to tolerate and be who we are.
He snores, who cares?
He slurps, so what?
He drags his feet, whose business? You’re there to make corrections and not nag the person to death. You’re there to make the next person jealous of who they are, and their imperfections and not make their flaws a topic for discussion.
Our relationships shouldn’t be a battlefield. We should be able to lean on each other, through thick and thin. If you can’t keep up, then don’t start in the first place.
You might wonder why you have to put so much work into a relationship, after all, it is just a relationship, but like everything else in life, for something (no matter how trivial) to turn out good, we have to be very prepared, and we have to put in a lot of effort.
It’s good to remember that where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.

0 thoughts on “Random musings- Should there really a battle of the sexes?

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