Minister of Sex and my experience in Malabo


My first trip to Malabo, the capital of Equatorial Guinea was in 2005 when I traveled with Port Harcourt based Dolphins FC for a CAF Champions League game.

The game was against a club called Renacimiento FC in Malabo but this piece is not about the game but something else.

Recently, I saw in the news that the Spanish president appointed a minister of sex and the online reports I read concerning it simply said the job of the new minister was to get more people to have sex. (A difficult task I must say)

According to this report, the birth rate in Spain is falling so Edelmira Barreira’s job is to make sure people have more sex and not just have sex but get pregnant in the end. (Hmmm even more difficult to get people to have babies)

The birth rate in Spain is one of the lowest in the developed world and they want it boosted.

The Spanish want to produce more babies and they have created an office for that.

And it is not rocket science that if you are not having sex you may not be getting pregnant and you may not be producing babies.

Well, experts say long working hours and a culture of eating late at night and going to bed after midnight are partly to blame for the nation’s sex famine.

This is funny to read because, in Nigeria where I come from, working late hours and eating late never stopped my country men and women from having sex. In fact it even enhances our sex drive here, but I digress.

I remember Malabo

My first trip outside Nigeria in my adult life was to Malabo, the capital of Equitorial Guinea in 2005.

At the time I went to Malabo then, there was nothing special about it and I thought any run of the mill Nigerian town was a better place to live… Maybe Ikorodu of even Ife could have been better, but I digress again.

After the game, on Monday morning as we waited for a bus to take us to the airport, we just sat in front of our hotel watching the city go by and I noticed something.

There were actually female kids, pregnant, in school uniform, going to school.

That could never happen in Nigeria, could it?

Some of them were as young as maybe 14, but what bothered some of us was more than just the fact that they were that young and pregnant but because they were in uniform going to school.

I remember calling our guide to ask him why and he wondered why we were surprised that people that young were pregnant.

I explained to him that we know teenagers get pregnant every where in the world but in Nigeria, you get expelled from school the moment it happens.

In his country, they were pregnant and in school uniform.

He laughed and said sex at whatever age is permitted in his country and getting pregnant is like the icing on the cake.

According to him their population was low and they wanted it upped so the presidency actually encouraged people to have sex and better still get pregnant.

That was Malabo in 2005, this is Spain in 2017.

But do Nigerians need any motivation to have sex? Everything makes the average Nigerian want to have sex- he loses his job, he has sex; he gets a new job, he has sex; he makes a cool million, he has sex; he loses ten million, he has sex.

There are lots of ministers Nigeria may need but certainly not a minister for sex. We are doing well in that aspect already.

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