Memoirs of a Bolt Guy: Enugu

By Victor Kwame Sampong

Enugu is indeed a nice place to be. All my visits to the Coal City have been very memorable, with no dull moment, a serene environment, and beautiful damsels that litter the city at every turn.

So, determined to maximize his last night in Nigeria, my client, Samson, and his brother said we should hit the road for some fun. In no time, we were all downstairs after using the bathroom. Four of us (including Samson’s babe) cruised the town to the fullest, eating anything we could lay hands on, drinking whatever we could, and visiting some cool joints too, where we fed our eyes on a number of raunchy stuff.

Samson already had company, but his brother Jeff would not be outdone. He took something back too, but home training no allow me partake in that other business of the night, despite the pressure and support from my co-travellers. We never lose sight of the target while on duty.

When we got back to the hotel around midnight, everyone went to their respective rooms, but I stayed back at the reception to make a second video of myself there.

On arrival I made a video of myself at the hotel, telling friends and others on Social Media of my location and how nice it was. I did it in such a fun way and even filmed myself with the receptionist, telling my guys back home how pretty she is and that maybe we’ll come back next week to lodge at the same hotel because they have good facilities. For her mind Oo…Yimu! All na wash. I was only putting in place some personal security measures, just in case something happened at night in that place.

I equally updated my WhatsApp, Facebook, and Twitter pages with my location and all that. I no wan hear sey, dem shoot bed, the mama fly.

Recently, a big man was sentenced to death in the South West for how he welcomed unsuspecting guests at his hotel in Osun State. Dead men tell no tales. Na so the matter just be.

I got to my room, locked the door, and pulled the couch to block it as well. I was not satisfied, so I hung my bedside mug on the door handle ‘should’ in case…

By 4:30 am, I was already awake to check whether I was still alive or not. I couldn’t sleep again, so I resorted to writing, and by morning, I was done with two articles. A good way to start the day and kill time.

At about 9 am, I was called to come down so we could proceed to the airport. Samson made some money, and unlike his other counterparts I’ve come across in this line of work that only just want to ‘flex and chop life’ he decided to secure safe passage out of Nigeria to one of the oil-rich Arab states to continue a different line of hustle. Everything had already been put in place. Honestly, I was impressed with such a level of forward-thinking from him.

We left for the Akanu Ibiam International Airport where his Ethiopian Airlines flight was waiting for him. His girlfriend was all tears as they said their final goodbyes. He settled me as agreed, including an extra token to bring his people back to Port Harcourt.

In no time, we left the airport with Port Harcourt as our next destination. We were only just forty-five minutes into our journey when my break failed. Luckily, I wasn’t at any terrifying speed. It was on a Sunday and most shops were not open yet. We were however directed to Four Corners Junction where we found two mechanics who did the job, changed my brake pads, and serviced it thoroughly.

While there, I decided to try the world’s famous ‘Enugu Okpa’. The only time I ate Okpa was in Port Harcourt and it wasn’t as nice as the hype surrounding it. The mechanic guys pointed to the girls across the road. One particular beauty caught my attention. The girl fine die! At that moment, I knew I’d buy from her or I won’t eat Okpa ever again.

That’s how I walked up to her and told her I like her thing and want to buy it. Sharp babe, na so she sef smiled at me. She got the drift ASAP. I asked again, “fine gal, I hope sey your thing go sweet Oo”?

She replied, “when you chop am, you sef go confam am.”

Body begin sweet me. She saw my Rivers United jersey, badge, and asked if I was from Port Harcourt. I replied in the affirmative. One thing I’ve noticed in all my sojourn across Nigeria, as a Port Harcourt boy, dem dey give you maximum respect anywhere you show. We no dey carry last.

Anyways, fine girl make me I no know when I buy Okpa Two Thousand Naira (N2,000), something wey be Two Hundred Naira (N200) each o. She called her brother selling drinks, na so I chatter Coca-Cola too. We exchanged numbers afterward. Na so I pack Okpa and mineral dey cross road like who return from party wey dem share am.

Jeff and the mechanic were looking at me like…wetin happen? Well, the Okpa go round, excluding Samson’s babe, who was still missing her boyfriend. She had been silent all through and only requested water.

The boys were done and I paid them for us to continue our journey under heavy rainfall. We got into Port Harcourt by 5 pm and I dropped both of them off before heading home to shut down for the day.

It was a nice experience over the weekend and one that would live long with me.


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