Diary of a junkie: Bygones


By Garnet
Cry as hard as you want to, but make sure that when you’re done crying, you never cry for the same reason again. 
We were spellbound long after Onome had gone out of the room, nobody said anything, the silence in the room felt like we were transiting back in time.
After what seemed like five hours, (which in all honesty wasn’t up to twenty minutes) Dan finally drew a long breath, and while referring to no one in particular, he asked “should we go after him?”
Stephen stood up and was ready to grab his keys in response to Dan’s question when he stopped short… “I’ll go after him. I know where he’ll be”.
Charles had always been an enigma, and I didn’t even bother to know what was going on in his head, because well that’s a school I’ll never graduate from.
“Are you insane?”
That was me. I couldn’t bite those words down my throat anymore. I mean, this guy just caused the possible end to something that I hear has been going on almost three years now. He’s hurt his friend beyond imagination, and now he suddenly wants to play nice? Hell no!
“After what you’ve done, you still want to go after him? What’s inside of you isn’t a conscience Charles.”
With that, I grabbed my packet of cigarette and stormed out of the room.
“Why was I so angry?” I asked myself later on after the dust had settled.
I told myself I had no right to have lashed out at Charles the way I did, but I did, and thinking back now, I don’t think I ever felt remorse.
I managed to convince myself that it’s because I’m annoyingly emotional, I probably shared Onome’s pain without knowing.
I was sitting on the boot of Stephen’s car when I saw Charles almost running to his car. He stopped abruptly when he saw me.
“I know you probably hate me already, and I honestly don’t blame you for it. I deserve even worse. I’m not worthy to be amongst you guys, but you guys mean a whole lot to me, and I’m hoping I can make things right.”
With that, he gave me one last look, dashed into his car and drove off.
Leave it to me to go all jelly for a guy that knows how to coin words.
I was enjoying the cool breeze, with my cigarette, going inside was totally out of the question. I dunno how long I was outside for, but I raised my head to the sound of footsteps and saw Stephen and Dan heading in my direction.
“Where’s Mrs Onome?” I asked jokingly.
“She’s cried herself to sleep.”
I didn’t want to feel pity for her, but I couldn’t help it. I know what it feels like having a fight with your boyfriend, and doing anything to satiate that hurt.
Anything? Including sleeping with my boyfriend’s friend? I’d never know…..
We were each brought back to earth when two different set of headlamps came to our direction.
Onome and Charles?  Unbelievable! How did Charles know where to find him?
What had he told him? You could see they had settled whatever difference was between them, even though the healing was still underway.
They walked towards us. Onome shook & hugged Stan and Dan, while he gave me the tightest hug ever.
“Where’s Sharon?”
“She’s inside. She cried herself to sleep, so we left her to rest.”
He flinched when I said that, gave my hand a squeeze and made for the room.
Next morning, we ended everything; the extra six bottles I didn’t know existed.
And one block of SK. I dreaded our journey back home, because the people in the car were different from the ones that left to Ahoada.
Besides that, I’m very sure none of us could tell the difference between 1 and 2.
The bond grew stronger. The love was reawakened. And I’m sure we had learnt a very big lesson.
It’s good to be sad. It’s good to hurt. It’s OK to look back on the past and wished some memories hadn’t been OK.
But, it’s not OK to dwell on the hurt. It’s not OK to not forgive. It’s not OK to let the mistakes of the past blur the golden memories of the future.

0 thoughts on “Diary of a junkie: Bygones

  1. The people who are involved in this kind of the activities are very bad and this kind of the work totally so absurd. Such people not only destroy their life but also destroy the life of the innocent people. This article giving awareness message.

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