Couples That Fart Together… Slay Together


Debo Popoola
Love is a beautiful thing we all know. When you are in love, the silliest and oddest things become fun and romantic.

Love turns a super-hard guy to a mumu; love turns a high temper diehard lady to a dundee; it transforms us to another person entirely from who we used to be. Love is magical; love it fantastical, so also is fart!

Now, let us look at one thing couple who are truly in love do that ordinarily would have triggered anger between them.

Wait first! Let me tell you the truth. If you are with your partner and you fart, a very loud elongated guttural fart that shakes the earth like a volcanic eruption, and he or she gets angry with you, please biko, you have not found true love o.

Get that straight. You need to change him or her and find someone who will laugh and tell you that the smell of your fart is the best thing that has ever happened to him or her.

Where is love if we cannot communicate with each other with that sonorous ringtone from the anal tunnel?

Now let’s differentiate between normal fart and romantic fart.

Normal farts are irritating and awkward you should not release them where there are people else you want to receive curses from the pit of hell on your head – people are angry with the economic situation of things so don’t add to their wahala; but romantic fart is cool and tender, it carries loads of affection and love and should be released only when you are with someone that you truly love and loves you equally.

Normal fart may carry offensive odor that will irritate anyone that perceives it, but romantic fart, even if it smell like rotten egg, will pass as the best perfume – the sosorobia perfume from Mali – to your lover.

Lastly, normal fart can embarrass you when you release it anyhow, but romantic fart, when released when you are with your lover alone, gives your honor and respect, it is a sign of freedom and trust.

Now, having differentiated between normal fart and romantic fart, I can now proceed to why couples should fart together in a communicative way.

Couples that fart together, that is, couples that use fart as a means of romantic communication will last longer together than those that do not fart together.

If you fart in the presence of bae, and he or she gives you an affirmative nod that says “Welldonesir!” and accompanies it with a clap, you are very lucky because he or she will not get angry easily on flimsy things.

But mind you, he or she will revenge, and you must be ready for it and play along. I will call that fartal communication

Also, couples should fart together to kill boredom. Sometimes relationship can be boring. If you have tried going to the cinema, beach, church, mosque and other social event together, you should set out a day to fartout inside the comfort of your home.

Although fart is an involuntary action, but you can provoke it by eating what will make it happen. You and bae can set a day, then two days before the day, you should start eating eggs boiled inside beans. Chai!

On a lighter note, the main purpose is that love should exist between couple to the extent that farting will not cause any rancor between them. Love makes us one with whoever we are in love with. One plus one is equal to one according to love mathematics. Since we do not get irritated by our own fart, we should also not get irritated by the fart from the one we love. Simple arithmetic!

Let us keep farting romantically in love. Nagode!

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0 thoughts on “Couples That Fart Together… Slay Together

  1. The first lines of this article give the romantic impression of the love and I really fell in love with these lines. In the middle point, you suddenly change this topic and change it into the fart which is looking so meaningful. The ending point of this article is so beautiful.

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