Beer Parlour Talk: Man United broke the internet and why thunder will fire Arsenal and Liverpool


By China Acheru
If you are a Manchester United fan, you were probably forlorn and heartbroken on Saturday night until you woke up on Sunday morning to some breath of fresh air.
A former Port Harcourt based Rap/ Hip Hop artiste, Dr. Barz put out what he called a Manchester United diss track that was getting rave reviews all over the world.
Manchester United had broken the internet, or, maybe, Dr. Barz did.
Now, a lot of people watched that video, and asked, especially those outside Port Harcourt, and Nigeria, “Who is Dr. Barz?”
Like I said, he used to be based in Port Harcourt, he raps for a living, but because of his wordplay, I call him the Lyrical Assassin.
I first heard of Dr. Barz, when I listened to his single, PH Don Wake, a track extoling the virtues of Port Harcourt. He was trying to sell Port Harcourt to the world, by letting people know that things were no longer as bad as they used to be
Such lines like, “My city’s on the rise like BP, If you’re still doing crime, you’re sleeping.”
 And others like, “We go build church for Abuja down, Slay queens go dey wear gown. How much for one night?
Story! They’re going for 5 nights of glory”
However, in his Manchester United diss track, he spoke about the poor state of the team, the fact that the number 10 is worn by a home boy who cannot score goals, how the owners, the Glaziers need to go and he ends up cursing everyone associated with the failure of the club.
It was not just about the fact that it was a cover to another popular rap song, but his word play, his composure and the way he spat the bars made this track unique.
On Social Media it was fun to see fans of rival clubs, and even those of Manchester United appreciate the song as he continued to get views on his handles where the song was posted.
But is Dr. Barz a Manchester United fan who is angry at the poor fortunes of the team? Or maybe, just a lyricist that just cashed in on the Manchester United situation to get more popular? Who knows?
Fight! Fight!! Fight!!! And the no- look handshake
I saw two foolish men try to shake each other up, yet in the end there were no punches thrown and there was no blood. Thomas Tuchel and Antonio Conte got into a skirmish than had players, stadium assistants, match officials running in to stop what would have been a potential sticky situation.
But would they have really exchanged blows? Tuchel was visibly angry at the referee allowing both of Tottenham Hotspur goals, believing there to be an infringement before they were scored, but how did that concern Conte?
Unless there is history we do not know about, Conte went for the ceremonial handshake after the game and did not even look at Tuchel whose hand he was shaking. It was like a no-look handshake. From what we saw, Tuchel grabbed him and pulled him back, like he was saying, “Look me in the eyes when you shake my hand, boy” and the rest, as they say is history.
I won’t lie, I would have loved to see a little blood and cut lips.
See small Nyansh dey shake o
So, Arsenal have won two out of two and it is a good time to be a fan of the club. Once again, they are dreaming and for good reason too.
Last season, Arsenal was the highest spending EPL team in the summer and this summer they have continued from where they stopped last season by signing Gabriel Jesus and Zinchenko and the results have started coming in.
This time last season, they had zero points and zero goals from two games, while this time they have maximum points and six goals from same number of games.
Whether they can sustain it is not important to their fans. Let them just enjoy the moment.
Welcome Serie A and La Liga
So, the very boring Italian and Spanish leagues kicked off the past weekend. Without the Messi/ Cristiano conflict in Spain, it seemed the attention moved away from LaLiga to other serious leagues. With Cristiano in Italy, a lot of people still watched Juventus, but right now, these two leagues will have to do a lot more than usual to keep the attention on them. We will be watching to see if they give us enough to attract us to stay tuned.
Thunder has to fire Gabriel Jesus and Liverpool
If you are a fan of Fantasy Football Manager, or FPL as it is known, you will agree that, just like betting, you are not really interested in what your favourite team plays, but how many points the players on your team garner for you.
Due to Media hype and peer pressure, I started Game Day 1 with three strikers- Gabriel Jesus, Haaland and Darwin Nunez. On Game Day 1, I amassed more than 80 points, my highest ever on the first day. However, Gabriel Jesus gave me nothing, so I threatened on a WhatsApp group to remove him. Henry Nna advised me not to remove Jesus, and that I would thank him later. I went on to remove Jesus and on Game Day 2, he got 2 goals and 2 assists. Woe Is ME!
Now the player I used to replace him, Callum Wilson, got only 2 points. Halaand managed just an assist and 5 points, while Nunez bagged himself a red card and minus 2 points. Sad FPL day for me. Mohammed Sallah, my captain could only get me 4 points, what a shame. Thunder fire all of them.
Back to the real football on the pitch, we do not know who will win any of the leagues yet, but some clubs have shown intent. Manchester City is one, and Arsenal is another, though for Arsenal, their intent could be for other things than winning the league.

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